That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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