We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
