I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There r osticjed everywhere
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
