I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Sext me about skeletons
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
