sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
