DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
