Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
