I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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