I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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