I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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