I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
