the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
