I will die if light touches me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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