You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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