dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
