Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
