just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
