your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize