I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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