yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
