Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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