but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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