She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
