yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
