Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm having to shit out rocks
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