I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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