Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
