This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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