we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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