Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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