She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
