She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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