so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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