I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm at about main and main street
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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