we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
