it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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