Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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