it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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