"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
