Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize