So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
