Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
