Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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