u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
