So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
