just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just cut my nipple shaving
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
