I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
