What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
