She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
