Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
