Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
