Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
