i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
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all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
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She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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