Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
