playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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