drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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