he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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