Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

how was that guy you hooked up with?

(415): View more from California

i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing

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(206): View more from Washington

would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.

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(852): View more from

Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.

(852): View more from

Never judge a man by his mustache.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness

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