Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field

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  (352): So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field http://tfl.nu/5are
  Replies (16) Good night (2653) Bad night (648)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.

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  (206): Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio. http://tfl.nu/95rn
  Replies (30) Good night (7024) Bad night (1072)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.

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  (702): He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out. http://tfl.nu/lsxk
  Replies (18) Good night (3455) Bad night (1799)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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  (906): How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum? http://tfl.nu/z56i
  Replies (56) Good night (1093) Bad night (9830)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.

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  (709): the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table. http://tfl.nu/ak9q
  Replies (5) Good night (2865) Bad night (1122)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college

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  (847): i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college http://tfl.nu/qor8
  Replies (5) Good night (3716) Bad night (810)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.

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  (506): yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her. http://tfl.nu/588d
  Replies (7) Good night (3077) Bad night (1256)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.

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  (970): She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim. http://tfl.nu/tftc
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (2447)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.

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  (603): I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay. http://tfl.nu/s25q
  Replies (8) Good night (4051) Bad night (1078)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude. Do it.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?

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  (678): So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out. (770): Dude. Do it. (678): Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober? http://tfl.nu/58ew
  Replies (16) Good night (4510) Bad night (754)
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  (831): View more from California

  Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...

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  (831): Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone... http://tfl.nu/6t56
  Replies (2) Good night (970) Bad night (532)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale

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  (304): I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale http://tfl.nu/3k6s
  Replies (7) Good night (1902) Bad night (524)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo

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  (860): I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo http://tfl.nu/rks3
  Replies (17) Good night (695) Bad night (1050)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides

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  (724): I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides http://tfl.nu/36h7
  Replies (6) Good night (1063) Bad night (365)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  i think my cat just said my name.

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  (386): i think my cat just said my name. http://tfl.nu/zcy1
  Replies (3) Good night (607) Bad night (170)

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