Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
